So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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