Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
