You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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