As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When are your genitals available?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
