you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
