this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
