I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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