Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
