dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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