Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
