I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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