I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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