I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
