Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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