I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
