I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
