So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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