Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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