Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You made me cry and you don't even care
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
