he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize