As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
