we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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