I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I could have mohawked her pubes.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize