A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
