It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
