You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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