Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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