We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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