I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
