you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
