He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
