please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
