I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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