so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
