Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
