I smell stomach acid.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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