i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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