Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
A+ Viking dick
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
