I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
