Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize