you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
