what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
