At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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