Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
