he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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