I could have mohawked her pubes.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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