found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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