apparently the secret to your success is patron
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
