Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
