Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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