Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
