I CAN MOONWALK!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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