i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
