I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
