I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize