oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
