I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
