I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
